Yes, I’m saying it out loud and clear, STOP, GENDER REVEAL PARTIES. Because you don’t know the gender of your baby. You know the sex of your baby.
When you wish to reveal the ‘gender’ of the foetus, you’re actually talking about their sex which is an identity based upon their biological and physical attributes. So a ‘sex reveal party’ is what you’re aiming at, to reveal whether your baby’s a male, female or intersex.
Whereas Gender is a social construct. It is a much wider term which defines the roles, norms to abide by and relationships of a person. To simplify it, let’s take an example. Let’s say your sex is that of a female. And once you grow up your role, attitude, behaviour are that like of a woman, then you’re a cisgender woman. But if you identify as a man as per your gender but woman as your sex, you’re transgender. Once might also be queer, gender-fluid or non-binary.
I hope this clears up the confusion between sex and gender. And let me know, if you think Sex Reveal Parties should take over Gender reveal ones.
This is a letter for Theodore Finch from ‘All the Bright Places.’ I hope this finds you well, in whichever world you are.
Theodore, you were a mystery and so was your death. Some say it was an ‘accident’, while others call it ‘suicide.’ But I believe it was a murder.
And you know what, this is yet an mystery- who murdered you? Because it wasn’t just a person, to begin with. I believe that every person (except Violet) including your ‘old friends’ and classmates, your negligent mother and formidable father had a hand in your mysterious death. Their constant inability to understand your small yet profound world made them terminators. So to say, they were the ‘Freaks’ all that while, even if they refuse to believe so.
Well, another stakeholder of your murder could be your “mind”. This chap threw you into long- dark sleeps, which were dreamless. I think it probably felt like being in an impenetrable prison.
And the last contributor were your “thoughts”. While most humans only (physically) fight amongst themselves, you were fighting with yourself (mentally). You were in a fight with every thought that wanted to consume you and take away Violet from you.
But remember, you battled for as long as you can and with as much vigour as you could. If it were anybody, they would have surrendered. But you didn’t. You won each of our hearts, and are out there creating your little world.
Do you remember hearing “you’re not alone”? I do. And I understand it now.
I am not alone in my loneliness. Our loneliness is what brings us together.
Trust me when I say that our loneliness brings us together. We’re all anonymous, unconnected segments of the earth which share a dire feeling of being Alone, Unwanted, Unconnected. But since there are so many of us, how are we alone?
Well, sorry for being inactive. Nope, I didn’t lack ideas to pen down; I lost motivation. I questioned if this post mattered or not. I questioned myself. But here I am again, hoping someone would read and this would make a difference.
Today, I shall talk about one complex topic- Friendship.I write also because I feel lonier than ever. And I know this virtual diary and you virtual people are my only friends. (Hopefully)
Every friend-ship has drowned. I am in the middle of the sea. Alone. It gets really stormy somedays and all I need is a friend, with no end. On the other days, this isolation fells like a bliss. But now it keeps getting darker, scarier, lonelier.
I ask you today, for I lack answers. What should I do? Where should I go? I need help!
USA is the home of our butchered friend, I understand. We, Generation Z are zealous; we’re using it to right the wrongs, I understand. We want the fire in us to burn the foul practices outside, I even understand that.
But what about the pandemic that is on our heads?
Yes, COVID-19. A real pandemic. A real virus, with subdued consequences. With the masses marching, how can we not expect the pandemic to spread and engulf the country like a monster?
USA is already the worst- hit state, with over 2 Million cases. What do you think will happen if we abandon the principle of social-distancing altogether?
Does it mean I’m against the protests?
Yes. Mass-protests where people are physically coming together and risking one another’s life is definitely not a pragmatic idea in my appeal.
Am I with racial discrimination and with the brutal police?
Never. Loud and clear I say, I am against racial discrimination. I am a person who loves people for their personality; their race, gender, religion are mere ornaments. I love the Black people as much as anyone else, and I duly feel that #Blacklivesmatter.
I genuinely hate the four policemen for what they did. Rather than protecting people, they are oppressing them. They are a spot on the beauty of the world, and so is anyone else who supports injustice.
So, what is my point?
Support George and every other victim. Stand with them, stand for them; but not at the cost of your life.
Virtually protest, because we know the power of social media. And you know what’s even better than protesting? Finishing injustice.
Don’t fight against the four policemen alone; fight against racial discrimination; fight against the mentality of the people who teach that Black lives don’t matter. And more importantly, make sure you’re not promoting injustice, even if involuntarily. Don’t just ‘mock’ at your friends or ‘pull their leg’ because of their colour. Don’t support jokes and campaigns that are racist. Make sure none of your friends/ acquaintances are being subjected to racism.
Hi passenger. Today, I’m gonna take you into really deep waters. We shall be talking about Feminism. Because yes, this word is misunderstood quite often. I shall be clearing a few misconceptions, according to me, about this concept very briefly.
A fight for equality; a fight fought together.
Define feminism.
Feminism aims at social, political and economic equality between all sexes. It talks about giving equal opportunities and equal respect to women.
Is feminism hatred towards men?
Misandry is defined as hatred/ prejudiced feelings towards men; feminism is not.
What is pseudo feminism?
Pseudo means false. Hence, ‘false’ feminism talks about supremacy of women over men. It states how women should be getting more respect than men, just because they are women. Pseudo- feminists emphasis on domination of women. Some also believe that ‘all men are the same: they are rapists, oppressive.’ Mostly, pseudo feminists fail to recognise the oppression and depression men go through. Rarely, can they also make false accusations about being raped. They are radical and believe in revenge. For them, rape should be answered with rape.
Are pseudo feminists same as feminists?
NO. Pseudo as I said is false. False and true feminism can never be the same.
How to identify a real feminist?
A real feminist believes in the equality not supremacy. They don’t think all men are the same or that they’re rapists, oppressive. They don’t believe that women should be dominant. They don’t think women should be respected because they’re women; they believe that women should be respected inspite of the fact that they’re a woman. Feminists believe that women, men, LGBTQ members all deserve respect regardless of their gender. Feminists are not anti-men. They duly recognise the oppression men go through. They will never make a false rape allegation or undermine the rights of men. They will stand with both– men and women if their rights are being undermined.
Are feminists humanists?
YES. Before being a feminist, one is a humanist.
Why the name feminism? Isin’t it annihilating the agenda of equality?
If you know, there was a Dalit Movement in 1956 in India, which was moved by Dr.BR Ambedkar. It’s motto was equality for all. It was against the oppressive Brahmins. Well, that ‘DALIT’ movement was named after the communityfighting for their rights; aiming at equality.
Similarly, the ‘FEMINIST’ movement is named after the women as they are oppressed in the society. The name gives an identity to the people who are moving it. The movement still aims at equality not supremacy.
Why do feminists not highlight the plight of men?
I pose the same question to those who pose this question to me. Why have YOU not highlighted the plight of men all these years? When only a feminist says ‘women are being oppressed’ ; you ask me ‘what about men’.
Imagine a situation, where there are no feminists. Nobody is highlighting the issues of women, at this point are you highlighting the oppression faced by men?
You talk about the plight of men, when I talk about that of women. If you are so worried about men, where are you otherwise?
But again, I will stand with a man if his rights are being undermined. I am going to make sure that he is not bullied. But such cases are in minority and in the community that I live, they’re NIL.
So, am I, as a feminist against movement for men?
Again, NO. I am standing here for the rights for men, because I believe in equality. I am against misandry, pseudo-feminism, false rape allegations, oppression faced by men. I am just highlighting the plight of women, because one step at a time; cases about women exist in majority and they’re prevalent in my society. But that doesn’t men I am not understanding the interests of men. If they’re in trouble, feminists stand with them.
So, in all; no, feminists don’t hate men. Yes, we will stand with them, because we aim at equality. No we’re not anti-men. But yes, we’re against patriarchy .
Do leave your opinion, comments in the comment section. Feel free to correct me. Because feminism is diverse and subjective; this is just my take on it. And do share it, so that we can together clear the misconceptions about feminism.
I am a new blogger and I cannot thank Pebz (https://thelifeofpebz.wordpress.com) enough for nominating me. I feel so happy for getting recognition by this beautiful writer. Her work is surreal. Her work is not only real but also very well expressed! Go checkout her blog, if you haven’t; you might catch up on some great advice!
HERE ARE THE RULES:
• Thank the person that nominated you, with a link to their blog
• Make a post of the award (with a photo)
• Post the rules
• Ask 5-10 questions of your choice
• Nominate 10-30 other bloggers
ANSWER TO HER QUESTIONS:
1. If you could go back to any era in time, what would it be and why?
If I could go back to an era it would be the during the Cold War Era. Since, I’m studying Cold Era right now, it’ll be amazing to experience that period in person. I’m sure i’ll be able to know a lot more about the political tactics, the ideologies and mindset of people back then.
2. If you were casted for a movie, what role would you like to play? It can be for character already played or one that you’ve created…
I would love to play the role of Lara Jean in To All The Boys I’ve Loved Before! I love that she is an Asian, because so am I. I’d also like to be her because I love her closet and her search for true love, hehe. The most amazing thing about her was her confidence; which I hope I’ll be able to acquire (if I get the part!)
3. What has been the most life changing point in your life?
The watershed event in my life was when I realised that my writings are worthy. When one of my poems featured in a newspaper, it was a point of enlightenment for me. It is then, that I realised my writings are worthy. And since then, I’ve never stopped writing!
4. What are the 3 words that best describe you?
PENSIVE: It refers to a person who thinks deeply and quietly. I am always contemplating, maybe that is why I chose word. I’m also an over-thinker to be very honest.
EMPATHETIC: If there’s one quality I love about myself that is my ability to empathise with others and understand their frame of mind. Which also makes me believe in the saying ‘only the wearer knows where the show pinches.’
OPEN-MINDED: I am one those friends who can provide moral support to anyone because I’m quite understanding and open-minded. I accept people who are many-a-times alienated from the society.
5. What’s the one thing you’ve always wanted to do but haven’t got to do and why?
I would love to not compare myself to the others. I do that a lot, no matter how much I try to resist such comparisons. I hope I’ll love myself such much one day, that I wouldn’t degrade and compare myself.
MY SET OF QUESTIONS:
1. What is self-love for you?
2. Would you sacrifice yourself for somebody else?
3. Have you ever felt inferior or extremely confident? If yes, describe one of the events briefly.
4. Describe your end-goal of life in 3 adjectives. (What would you like to achieve by the end of your life?)
5. If your life was a book, what would the title be?
I hope each one of you participates because you truly deserve this opportunity! Together we should create a community that supports one another. Also, have fun answering the questions!
Hi passenger. Hope you’re all safe. Today we shall dive ‘deep’ to find ourselves!
Who am I?
I often answer this by saying ‘I am water’. A drop of water. Because I mix up with whoever is near me; but sadly I end up diluting my own-self. In the urge to ‘fit in’ I lose my identity to the other person.
What I realise now, is that I should be like the ocean’s water: strong and bold enough to retain itself and courageous enough to take its own course.
So from now, you decide that whether you wanna be a drop of water or ocean’s water!
Hi passenger. Hope you’re all enjoying this tough ride. So today, I wanna ask you:
How important is it to be strong all the time?
Trust me, you don’t need to be strong all the time. I understand you’re overburdened by responsibilities, you have a family to take care of; but it’s okay to take a break. Even the clouds break down at one point, so shall we. Because the more we try to hide our emotions, the more they intensify.
So calm down: breathe, take a warm shower, put on a sheet mask, have a cup of tea/coffee, pick up a good novel and admire the sunset.
I hope that the journey gets easier for you! (Checkout my novel review, incase you want to read Ps. I Love You)
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